Dear friends,
The article we published last week aroused a range of responses from thanking for the helpful information to asking a logical question of how men can be protected from getting scammed while dating online. Unfortunately the best men can suffer from scamming, as their natural instincts are to care and protect. I myself became acquainted with my husband on the Internet, as did many of my friends and clients, many of them have experienced some kind of scamming. The sense of your best feelings being used hurts and it leaves scars. The fact is that recently scammers have brought much damage to the whole idea of International dating, and the issue of the trustworthiness of Russian ladies has become an important and valid concern.
The same thing we tell our ladies about IMBRA policy – the fact that this anti-human trafficking policy exists does not mean that this is a problem: it means that we work to prevent it from ever turning into a problem. I want to make the point that Internet scamming is a concern that should be addressed, understood, and prevented in a rational manner.
So let’s talk again about how you could experience scamming while dating online, how our service protects you from scamming, and what you can do to protect yourself:
- Non-existent lady: you can find a profile of a beautiful lady, whose sexy photos and sensitive profile touch your heart. After months of communication and sending hundreds of dollars via Western Union to help her with correspondence costs you might find out that the lady whose pictures you fell in love with has no idea about you and/or never applied to the agency. It was a middle-aged bearded Russian man who was sending messages to you and many other men.
- What Unona agency does: we guarantee that every lady who is registered at our website www.Unona.net is a real person. All ladies who are registered at our website came to Unona offices or to the offices of partners, in person, signed service agreements, and had their passports checked before we spent time on the professional translation of their profiles. If you have any doubts about the existence of a lady, you could file an abuse report (found in the menu to the left of the lady’s profile) and ask to verify her passport information. Usually we keep scanned copies of the ladies’ passports and signed agreements at our offices. We can send you a scanned copy of a lady’s passport if she permits to do so or if there is a scam investigation.
- What you can do: you could do a check by an independent agency like http://www.russian-detective.com/services/abc.htm 3D check costs from $75 in Russia to $85 in Ukraine. Please note that everything you get with this check is a confirmation of official registration of a lady (every person in Ukraine should have an official registration – supposed to be her place of residence). In actuality if a girl was born in Kherson and then moved to Kiev, rented few apartments there in several years etc., her official registration would most likely show the address of her parents in Kherson, as usually people do not get official registration when they rent a place.
- What you can do: place a flower or gift delivery order with any flower delivery company in Ukraine, or with our company at www.UkraineGiftDelivery.com and ask for a photo or video of the gift delivery. In reality: we or any other courier can take a picture of video only if a lady permits to do so. But to give her a gift or flower delivery order we always check her ID. Please note: if you want to verify the existence of a lady who is not registered with Unona, please let us know about it in advance – put a note at a Comments field. We make several attempts to deliver a gift and we could save time if we know that the identity of a recipient is in question and needs to be confirmed. We also advise you to order a non-perishable gift in such cases. If a delivery is impossible, we could re-stock your order and refund of its cost. In that case, you would only have to pay for the delivery service and not the gift itself.
- What you can do: I think the easiest way to verify lady’s existence is to invite her to have a Live Chat with you. Make a point that you want a Chat at a Unona office with a video streaming and interpreter’s help and we will gladly assist you.
A fake marriage agency: Translators impersonate the ladies instead of working for them. The ladies sometimes do not even know whom they are corresponding with. When you come to visit a lady, she gets a “family emergency” and you never meet her. Such agencies often accept only Western Union payments, are headquartered in Ukraine or Russia, do not have customer support available, their business is not registered officially, and they do not have a storefront office.
- What Unona can do: We carefully interview translators and evaluate potential partners before being allowed to work at Unona. There are strict penalties for “cutting corners” while processing ladies’ correspondence and nobody wants to risk a month’s earnings to pay a penalty. If you ever get suspicious, please file an abuse report and let us investigate the case. If there is an unscrupulous translator involved in processing your correspondence, the agency will get a fine, the translator will get fired, and you receive a full refund for the cost of correspondence with this lady.
- What you can do: communicate with your lady “live” often. Call her, chat live, text her. Make sure that she replies promptly and she is attentive to all the details of your communication (remembers names, dates, questions and answers etc.)
- Do not hesitate to ask for the agency’s business license. We can provide you business licenses issued in Canada and Ukraine at your first request.
A Classical Scammer: you exchange a few messages with a lady, which become steamy very quickly and then she:
- Tells a touching story about a serious medical condition of hers, her mother, friend, etc.
- She gets into trouble with her mortgage/high interest loan etc.
- She tells a story about a theft of her emergency fund
- She ecstatically tells you about a luxury gift her friend has just received from her boy friend
Remember that a good scammer would never ask you for money directly. She would create a situation where she (a beautiful sexy princess) is in trouble and you (a handsome knight) can save her. She makes it so you betray yourself. Looking back you realize that you were the one who sent the hard earned money, and she never even asked for it.
- What Unona can do: if we find a piece like this in a message scheduled for translation first we talk to the lady and explain our policy to her again. She might be new, might be silly, it might be an honest mistake. A lady gets only one warning and if it happens again we cancel the lady’s membership. If you file an abuse report and the case of scamming is proved, we fully refund the cost of your correspondence with this lady and cancel this lady’s membership. Attention: if our investigation shows that you were provoking a lady telling her that you “like to give gifts” and asking what she would like to receive on the coming holiday, we will not support your case.
- What you can do: be attentive – all rules of decency applicable in North American culture also apply to long distance dating. You would never ask for support from a person you have never met before, a Ukrainian lady in need also has friends and family she would address her concern, and she would never ask for money from a person she has never seen. Have doubts? File an abuse report. We investigate each report thoroughly. If this is not a scam – you will receive an explanation. If it is scam – you will get a refund and a lady’s membership will be canceled.
Visa and Ticket Scammer: you communicate with a beautiful lady, you really hit it off and she would like to come to visit you or she wants to meet you in some exotic country. She asks you to send her money to pay for the visa application and plane ticket. You have never seen this lady, but you really want to meet her, you send her the money, she disappears.
- What Unona can do: if your correspondence is processed by Unona Translation and forwarding service, every one of our translators knows a strict rule: there can be no money requests in Unona correspondence when a couple have not met yet, there are huge penalties for not complying with this rule. If you ever notice one, please file an abuse report and we will investigate the matter. If scamming is confirmed, you will receive the full refund of the total cost of correspondence with this lady. Please note that if you get a lady’s contact information and communicate directly, you do so only at your own risk. We cannot investigate scamming complaints if the communication was outside of our service.
- What you can do: always plan to come to the lady’s country first to meet her. If things work out well for you, you will feel positive inviting her afterwards to any place. Please note: if you come to, say, Kiev and would like to invite a lady to come to you from some other city of Ukraine, it is OK to pay for her travel expenses to come to meet you to another city. The travel expenses should be reasonable, you could always double check with us for the approximate cost of transportation or we could assist in arranging transportation of your lady.
Pro Dater: a lady who has high expectations, high maintenance, she often communicates with many gentlemen at the same time. You feel flattered that such a young, beautiful, and intelligent lady communicates with you, but as you spend your time and money with her she is very vague about getting married.
- What Unona can do: we can only help you by advising you generally based on our long experience. Statistically about 90% of all men initiate a contact with the same group of particularly attractive women, about 10% of the whole database. These ladies (who are truly beautiful, elegant, and nice) are often just confused by the overwhelming amount of attention they get. They are torn between the idea that somebody better can come along and often get exhausted of endless relationships and quit. Please consider expanding your search and try to contact the ladies who might be older, whose pictures are not that provocatively sexy, but who will sincerely appreciate your attention.
- What you can do: your choice is very personal. Whatever you choose to do, remember that there is no need to send expensive gifts to a beautiful and sexy lady whom you have never met in person. A holiday e-card or an occasional flower bouquet would be absolutely adequate until you visit in person.
Cheater: unfortunately in any country there are always some people who live under the same roof and sleep in the same bed, but cheat on their spouses.
- What Unona can do: please remember that no one can see into another person’s heart and so provide a guarantee about the sincerity of their intentions.
- What you could do: If you get suspicious, you could hire a professional investigator as it is suggested at http://www.russian-detective.com/bkgr.htm This service is expensive, and the result is unpredictable
- What you could do: if your relationship is getting serious, plan to come to meet the lady sooner rather than later. Remember that ladies here are actively looking for their soul mates. While communicating with you and seeing your procrastination, she can get acquainted with a local Ukrainian man, or she can meet somebody else who came earlier and wins her heart.
In a nutshell:
- NEVER EVER SEND MONEY TO A PERSON YOU HAVE NEVER MET
- CHOOSE TO COMMUNICATE OFTEN AND COMMUNICATE LIVE
- ALWAYS COME TO MEET A LADY IN HER COUNTRY/CITY FIRST
- IF YOU GET SUSPICIOUS, FILE AN ABUSE REPORT AND LET US INVESTIGATE THE CASE
- IF YOU CHOOSE TO COMMUNICATE WITH A LADY DIRECTLY, YOU DO SO AT YOUR OWN RISK AND SHOULD BE EXTRA CAREFUL.
For more information please also refer check
Anti Scam information at the bottom menu of every page of our website.
I also asked a close friend who once witnessed scamming himself to share his experience:
· What were the signs of scamming?
A little voice in the back of my head saying something isn’t quite right here. Nothing you can point to and say “here, this”, just a feeling. If that happens, remember that this is so far just a casual internet correspondence, let her go, and move on. She’ll find someone else and so will you.
· What would you advise to do, if somebody thinks that he gets scammed?
The real question is to keep that possibility at arms length. Keep yourself in a position where if you get a nagging feeling that this isn’t right, make it easy to get out. That feeling is important. Don’t make huge emotional investments in her before you’ve even met. Keep your options open by communicating with a few girls, keep it light, constantly remind yourself to be totally honest about how you really live your life, and keep asking yourself if she’s really right for you: do both of you make each other happy? “After the honeymoon”, will our life together work? Relax. Be yourself. Find the lady who will love the real you. The world, the internet, is a huge place, and you will find the right lady.
It’s easy to get caught up in the middle of a situation where you can’t think objectively. In that case I strongly recommend having a heart to heart with a good friend and asking their advice.
· What is the lesson learned?
That question will be different for everyone, I think. For me, it was: this is not a battle to be won at all costs. I stopped communicating with other ladies way too early, and in so doing I cut myself off from all alternatives. I tolerated that nagging feeling against my better judgment when I really didn’t have to. I’m not a people person until you get to know me, so the dating process isn’t so easy for me. What to do? What to say? That problem seems to go away when you add choice to the equation. But you have to step a little out of your comfort zone and meet multiple ladies and just see what happens. Having a choice also really lowers your stress level. That way a problem turns into a choice, not a loss. Realize that these ladies are trying really hard to be liked by you, you’re just looking someone where it happens for both of you. Wait for it and it will happen. It did for me and it was worth it.
Dear friends, we do appreciate your help in keeping our website clean of scammers. If you have your own ideas on this topic, which you think would be useful to the other members, we encourage you to share them.